Would you work with them again?
Sometimes I get really angry thinking about the tech industry. Every week, reading the most recent cases of horrific cluelessness and incompetency among high-level executives is infuriating.
There are good inclusive places to work, but they feel few and far between.
Too often, people with toxic behavior are not only not fired but rewarded and promoted. Or they leave on their own terms far too late, after much damage has been done.
I feel my chest tightening just writing all that, because it’s a reality and it feels so unfair. For what we were told is a meritocracy (some people still believe this), it sure as hell is not.
So, how do I wrap my head around this not-a-meritocracy?
When I think about people I’ve worked with, there are some people for whom I’d leave a good job to work with again. If I started a company, I’d try to recruit them to be a co-founder or early employee. If they needed help, I’d do everything I possibly could to support them, and intro them to the most helpful people I could. When I’m providing a reference for them, I’d say “Your team would be lucky to get her. I’d work with her again in a heartbeat.” They are a joy to work with. They may not necessarily get credit for everything they do, but they care about the people around them, and those people know that they are the glue that holds everything together.
On the other hand…there are people I wouldn’t do any of those things for.
When I see or hear about situations that are unfair, and there’s nothing immediately I can do about it, it helps to come back to the question, “Would you work with them again?” And I remind myself that, even if people are not constantly asking themselves that question, it’s the one that matters. I’ve had people preemptively tell me of some negative experiences they had with an individual, just in case that person happened to apply for a job and enter the pipeline.
Relationships are everything. When whatever tech company is long gone, what will remain are the relationships between people. Clusters of people will be resilient to the changing industry and travel together and break apart, and meet again years or decades down the road.
In 5 years or 10 years or 20 years, people will remember those who treated them with respect and care, not those who maneuvered themselves to the most rapid short-term success, at the expense of everything else. People don’t forget, and people will want to work with people who’ve boosted or pulled them up, not those who trampled over them.
After many years working full-time at tech companies, I’m now coaching and consulting engineering teams. If you’d like some help scaling your team or developing yourself as a leader, email me at jean@jeanhsu.com.
